If Johnson’s Conservatives wrote the constitution…

evil clowns” by PinkMoose is marked with CC BY 2.0.

Many will feel that the need for a written, enforceable constitution must surely be beyond doubt. But imagine if Johnson’s government decided to write it? [They’d want to ensure they were in power forever, thereafter, for sure. Ed]

1) When a prime minister or minister breaks the ministerial code, an apology will suffice instead of a resignation or dismissal.

2) When a prime minister or minister breaks the law, an apology “in all humility” will suffice instead of a resignation or dismissal.

3) When a minister or governing party MP is found guilty of improper conduct, the head of the authority making that judgment will be expected to resign.

4) When a minister or governing party MP breaks the law, the Government will say it accepts the verdict of the courts or the police while making it clear that it does not accept the verdict of the courts or the police.

5) If a minister or governing party MP breaks the law, the Attorney General will exercise his or her right to silence.

6) If the independent electoral commission makes findings which are unfavourable to the government, it will be changed by statute into a fully dependent electoral commission, preferably headed by a crony/donor.

7) If there is a war taking place, the Prime Minister will be exempt from any of the rules which in normal circumstances would govern his or her behaviour.

8) If there is no war taking place, the Prime Minister will still be exempt from any of the rules which in normal circumstances would govern his or her behaviour.

9) If the UK breaks international law, the Attorney General and fellow ministers will make clear that the views of the elected UK parliament take precedence.

10) Under no circumstances should the elected parliament of the UK have the authority to take a view on anything.

11) It is for the police to decide whether or not the Prime Minister has broken the ministerial code by misleading Parliament.

12) It is not for the police to decide whether or not the Prime Minister has broken the ministerial code by misleading Parliament.

13) When there is a discrepancy between the duty of governing party MPs to demand the highest standards of probity from the prime minister, and the positive views of a foreign head of state of the same prime minister, the views of the foreign head of state will take precedence.

14) The Prime Minister will ultimately be accountable to the Prime Minister.

15) When the Prime Minister dictates that it is time to move on, it will be time to move on.

16) The United Kingdom shall at all times be referred to in this draft constitution as “the greatest democracy in the world”.

Do you have any suggested additions? Get in touch! editor@westcountryvoices.co.uk.