Your go-to reminder of 14 years of Conservative ‘achievements’. Part 2: environment, housing, public services plus scandals, resignations and suspensions

A continuation of the list of horrors perpetrated on this country by the Conservatives.


  • Human effluent flowing merrily through our waterways.
  • Failure to regulate and curb energy price rises, leading to massive provider profits and pressure on consumers.
  • Multiple failures to meet climate targets and backtracking on environmental commitments.
  • The loss of EU funding for regional development impacting deprived areas.
  • Air quality targets missed year after year – breathe at your own risk!
  • Fracking licenses handed out like candy despite public opposition.
  • The scrapping of the Green Homes Grant, leaving homes inefficient and cold.
  • Climate emergency declared, but actions remain MIA.
  • UK ranked last for nature protection in Europe – go big or go home, right?
  • Coal mines reopening while talking about net zero – because irony isn’t dead.
  • Renewable energy investments slashed – why go green when you can go broke?
  • Ignoring the impact of plastic pollution, because turtles aren’t Tory voters.
  • Funding cuts to national parks, because who needs nature anyway?
  • Single-use plastic bans delayed indefinitely – convenience over conservation!
  • Delays in banning neonicotinoids, keeping bee populations buzzing off.
  • Overfishing allowed to continue, because sustainable fish are for sissies.
  • Forest preservation efforts underfunded – timber profits come first!
  • Failure to implement effective flood defences, leaving communities more soaked than our Prime Moistness calling a general election.
  • Lack of action on agricultural emissions – cows over climate!
  • Neglecting urban green spaces, because concrete jungles are in vogue.
  • Dismantling environmental protections post-Brexit – taking back control of pollution.
  • Attempting to destroy Natural England
  • Defunding the Environment Agency


  • Missing housing targets over and over again – what a shocker!
  • Masterclass in ignoring the housing crisis – well done!
  • Property companies big donors to the Party…conflict of interest much?
  • Renter reform watered down and now dropped to keep landlord MPs smiling.
  • Grenfell Tower fire? Cladding scandal? Still impressively dodging any sort of responsibility or accountability.
  • Achieving record-low homebuilding numbers in the middle of a housing crisis – impressive!
  • Skyrocketing private rents, pushing people further into poverty or homelessness.
  • Selling off council houses without building replacements.
  • Rising homelessness with rough sleeping numbers through the roof. Fantastic job!
  • The bedroom tax punishing the poor for having an extra room.
  • Cuts to housing benefits, forcing more people into homelessness. Compassionate!
  • Botched Universal Credit rollout, causing rent arrears and evictions. Top-notch planning!
  • Developers sitting on land instead of building homes. Great foresight!
  • Empty homes left to rot while people sleep on the streets. Priorities!
  • The Help to Buy scheme inflating house prices even more. Well done!
  • Poor quality new builds with countless structural issues and no climate-proofing. Quality over quantity, right.
  • The collapse of Carillion, leaving public housing projects unfinished. Stellar oversight!
  • Local authorities selling public land to private developers. Public interest at its finest!
  • Turning a blind eye to rogue landlords exploiting tenants just in case a Landlord MP’s second income gets affected.
  • Slashing funding for social housing, worsening the crisis. Brilliant strategy!
  • Scrapping lifetime tenancies in social housing, creating instability.Nice touch!
  • Pushing the responsibility of housing crisis onto local councils without any sort of funding. Delegation at its best!
  • The failure to implement meaningful reforms in the private rental sector despite promising to do so for years. Consistency is key!

Public Services:

  • Rising homelessness and rough sleeping, with attempts to criminalize the homeless for “strong smells”; imposing massive (unpayable) fines. Compassionate!
  • Cuts to police funding resulting in fewer officers and reduced support services. Stellar strategy!
  • Across public services – fail to retain experienced staff and make a big show of recruiting inexperienced newbies.
  • Increasing reliance on private sector contracts for public services with spectacularly poor outcomes. Well done!
  • Bone-deep cuts to local council budgets reducing services, especially Adult Social Care. Excellent prioritising!
  • The failure to adequately support businesses during COVID-19, leading to closures and job losses. Great job support.
  • 3 million plus self-employed excluded from all government support during COVID-19.
  • Slashing funding for youth services, leaving young people with nowhere to turn. Brilliant foresight!
  • Libraries shutting down across the country, because who needs books? Literacy be damned!
  • Privatisation of probation services leading to chaos and increased reoffending. Perfect reform!
  • Dismantling legal aid, making justice a privilege for the few. Justice for sale!
  • Underfunding/closing courts leaving a massive backlog and a long wait for justice for victims.
  • A prison system so broken we’re both releasing prisoners early and arresting fewer people to prevent capacity being completely overrun.
  • Failing to meet promises on police recruitment, leaving communities feeling unsafe. Security? What security?
  • Underfunding fire services and closing fire stations, putting public safety at risk. Playing with fire!
  • Post office closures hitting rural communities hard. Connectivity at its best!
  • Failing to provide adequate flood defences, leading to repeated flood disasters. Water, water everywhere!
  • Undermining public transport outside of London, increasing regional inequality. Stranded much?
  • Neglecting the staffing and resourcing needs of care homes, leading to crises in elderly care. Golden years, indeed!
  • Encouraging private/foreign equity ‘investors’ into childcare services – your kid is a transferable asset.
  • Reducing funding for women’s refuges, leaving victims of domestic abuse without sanctuary. Safety second!
  • Failing to tackle knife crime effectively, putting lives at risk. Cutting edge policy!
  • Underfunding social services, leaving vulnerable families without support. Family values?
  • Continuous public sector pay freezes, demoralising essential workers. Motivation strategy!

Bonus: Resignations and Suspensions of Conservative MPs:

  • Robert Halfon: Suspended for an “inappropriate relationship” with a staff member. Smooth move, Rob.
  • Matt Hancock: Resigned as Health Secretary after a cosy breach of his own COVID-19 restrictions to only then be suspended as MP all in the name of show business. Health first, right? The whip magically restored in order to bolster Sunak.
  • Rob Roberts: Suspended for making unwanted advances towards a staff member. Classy as ever.
  • Chris Pincher: Resigned as Deputy Chief Whip following allegations of groping two men. Handsy, Chris?
  • David Warburton: Suspended over allegations of sexual harassment and cocaine use. What a combo!
  • Suella Braverman: Sacked twice – once for breaching security protocols and again over controversial immigration policies. Double whammy!
  • Andrew Bridgen: Suspended for comparing COVID-19 vaccines to the Holocaust. That’s some historical insight, Andrew.
  • Julian Knight: Suspended over allegations of serious sexual assault. Keeping it classy.
  • Crispin Blunt: Suspended following his arrest on suspicion of rape and possession of controlled substances. What a role model.
  • William Wragg: Gave up the party whip after being implicated in a Westminster honeytrap scandal. Caught in a sticky situation, William?
  • Mark Menzies: Lost the whip following allegations of misusing campaign funds. Money well spent, Mark?
  • Dominic Raab: Resigned as Deputy Prime Minister and Justice Secretary following a bullying investigation. Leadership goals.
  • Liz Truss: Resigned after living out Ayn Rand’s wet dream and smashing the economy into a wall.
  • Nadine Dorries: Resigned in a strop for not getting a gong. Oh, the drama!
  • Gavin Williamson: Resigned as Minister of State without Portfolio due to bullying allegations. A real people person.
  • Scott Benton: suspended and then voted out in a by-election, having committed serious breaches of the ministerial code in a lobbying scandal.
  • And the BIG one – Boris Johnson: Resigned after record numbers of ministers resigned off the back of him doing what he does best – lying through his teeth. #Partygate…

There you have it. Fourteen years of “achievements” under the illustrious leadership of our beloved Government and five leaders, ending with our Unelected Prime Moistness. It’s been a period of ground-breaking incompetence, unrivalled scandal, performative cruelty and spectacular failures that have touched absolutely every facet of British life. From the economy to healthcare, education to the environment, and housing to public services, they’ve left no stone unturned and no community unaffected.

So, as you listen to the campaigning and nattering on about the so-called “achievements” of the Conservative Party over the past 14 years, do take a look at the list above and remind yourself of the unparalleled legacy of ineptitude, scandal, and societal decay and division they’ve so generously bestowed upon us.


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